Grace and Sin

Last night when I was wanting to sleep, I laid in bed wide awake. I had just finished praying and writing, and I had hoped I was done being “spiritual”. Ha. At some point a random scene played through my head: This guy walked up to me and told me that he had slept with a girl, had “seen her” as he said. I was not sure how to respond, and the scene quickly ended. I gave the scenario little thought and quickly tried to resume my sleep. Not long after the scene played out again, this time with a friend of mine as the guy. This was even harder to respond; he and I aren't close, but I still care enough for him to have been concerned. This morning as I was writing, the scene played out again, and I knew I had to write about it.

My question to this scenario is, what is the right response? James 1:14-15 says “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” The point of that is not to make us feel bad or uncomfortable, but to point to the fact that sin comes with its own punishments. I am not saying that as parents or authority figures we are not to teach those under us that wrong is wrong. No; but I am saying that there is a difference between teaching a lesson and reacting in a way that is neither beneficial neither for the wrongdoer nor for us. It would be easy for me to blast either guy in the mini stories, telling them that they have officially screwed himself and his future wife, not to mention that girl, over. It would be easy to stare and say nothing, defaulting to someone else to deal with them and their mess. It would even be easier to make light of the situation-- not easy, but easier than responding correctly.

Something God has been telling me for the past few months is that Grace changes people a lot better than condemnation does. Grace is not easy to give, but it is necessary. And you know what, it does not make me feel good to say that, because what if that guy were a family member of any gender-- a sibling, my future husband, my child? Would I want to give grace in that moment? Would it feel good to tell them that I do not condemn them and, yes, although there are consequences that come with every decision they make, I will not damn them. I will love them.

I do not know what it feels like to have to tell someone that I slept with a guy; even so, that does not negate the fact that I have my messes. I have my crap, my faults, my sins, and I know how God has handled them. He has reached out to me time and again with His Love and Grace. He has walked me through one healing process after another-- and yes, they were excruciating. Purity comes with a price, one way or another. Both are heavy, but one comes with a lot less of a burden and scarring than the other one. This is why abstinence is (should be) preached and taught. Sin of any kind affects more than just the sinner. However, this is not an excuse to make anyone feel like crap because they allowed their desire to birth sin which results in death. Because when we sinned, we had ours paid for, as did they. We were given Grace, if not by a human being than for sure by God the Father, who sent His Only Son to cover our butts… and the rest of us. I am not saying we are to welcome with open arms the wrong act, the hurtful words, whatever. I am saying we love and forgive and give Grace to the human being created in the image of God. “All have sinned and fallen short…” It’s not supposed to feel good, on either end. But it is supposed to heal and produce fruit but the Grace of a righteous and holy and gracious God.