Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Temptation: Grilled Cheese and Faithfulness

"Many things can hurt a man, but nothing hurts him worse than the woman he loves casting her thoughts and eyes towards another." Tricia Goyer, Praying for Your Future Husband

When I read this, several thoughts sauntered through my mind. One was, "Wow, who knew?" If you have read one my earlier posts about wanting to date around just to screw my future husband over, you'll understand my next thought: "I can be a real jerk." I also told myself , "I have a lot of power," and "I'm really glad I didn't follow through on my thoughts."

Something that freaked me out about that quote in relationship to my temporary scheme and plans was that I really was not sure how much such actions could affect a guy. I don't know if, looking back, a guy will say. "Well, that was in the past," or if he would take another route and respond with, "It hurts to know that you felt the need to give yourself away instead of waiting for me." I hear it goes both ways; I have my own conclusion, but the point of the matter is that what we do affects other people. I can only imagine that if my future man ever reads my blogs and I had actually gone through with the temptation to do my own thing until he and I meet up, the he wouldn't appreciate my course of action (or thought).

Temptation is rarely seen as something that affects others, and in the moment we are usually thinking about ourselves. Either we wonder what we can benefit from this or how it will hurt us. I am not trying to get deeply philosophical and say, "Every little action, thought, and word will affect others, so think 3 times before you eat that grilled cheese!!!" However, I am saying that the decisions we make about honorable and faithful behavior very much affects others. I assume eating that grilled cheese is not going to cause your kids to have a horrible childhood. I assume that the way a young man treats him mother now speaks volumes about how he will treat his future wife.

In conclusion... If you're not lactose intolerant, just eat the grilled cheese! Cheese is wonderful. But, think twice when your behavior can be concerned dishonorable because you and others will reap what you are sowing.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Isaiah 46 NLT

"Bel and Nebo, the gods of Babylon, bow as they are lowered to the ground. They are being hauled away on ox carts. The poor beasts stagger under the weight. Both the idols and their owners are bowed down. The gods cannot protect the people, and the people cannot protect the gods. They go off into captivity together. “Listen to me, descendants of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. “To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal? Some people pour out their silver and gold and hire a craftsman to make a god from it. Then they bow down and worship it! They carry it around on their shoulders, and when they set it down, it stays there. It can’t even move! And when someone prays to it, there is no answer. It can’t rescue anyone from trouble. “Do not forget this! Keep it in mind! Remember this, you guilty ones. Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. I will call a swift bird of prey from the east— a leader from a distant land to come and do my bidding. I have said what I would do, and I will do it. “Listen to me, you stubborn people who are so far from doing right. For I am ready to set things right, not in the distant future, but right now! I am ready to save Jerusalem and show my glory to Israel."

Redeemable Poop

There are parts of my story that I look at and I ask God, "Are You serious? People are going to think I am crazy." Many lessons I have learned were born out of situations that I wish and have prayed that I could forget about. They are embarrassing, they are abnormal, and they are painful to recall. But you know how I know that I am meant to share them? You know what keeps me obeying (after the arguing, crying, and emotionally-drained surrender)? The memory of peace that I felt those times I did not wrestle with God. I recall when I felt most at peace and when I felt most unsettled, and the peace was always in the, "Okay, I trust You" and not in the "People are going to think I'm certifiable.”

I had a wonderful conversation today with a friend about purpose. We were both struggling with being bold when it came to putting ourselves out there and showing others God's love via whatever avenue He was calling us to work in. I found it weird that I could connect with her on this seeing as just last week I felt like I was doing great in this area. But you know what God kept whispering to me? "I am using your weakness to help her." Oh, what a scary thing, allowing God to take our crap, our stinky, old, painful flaws and use them to draw someone nearer to Him or to encourage them in some way. Why is this so embarrassing? Because all of us walk around desiring to hide our weaknesses. From our toddler years, we are trained to flush crap down the toilet, not take it out of the potty and yell with boldness and joy, "Look, Mommy!" I know that's a crazy and nasty visual, but seriously! No one wants to see (or smell) that! But when it comes to our nontangible mess, faults, and shortcomings, God wants us to take them out and show Him, boldly stating, "Here, Daddy! Here is an area, a place where I struggle, fail, do not measure up. Take this and, as You are shape me to be more like You, use this to bring You glory." What's crazy is, unlike our earthly parents, God can actually do that. He can take the disgusting and turn it something beautiful.

I believe in an earlier blog I talked about how dead dreams are like cow manure. They stink and are not fun to interact with, but God can use them to grow something beautiful and useful. Well, our weaknesses are just like cow manure as well; Jesus is the master Farmer, and He can take our nasty-smelling “poop” and use it to fertilize the ground from which the harvest of hearts is grown. We should not cling to and ignore the areas in which we are not the strongest, but neither should we hide away in shame or see them as unredeemable.


I want to challenge you to open up an area of your life to God that you would just as soon not; if you do not know what this area might be, ask Him! I am challenging this partially because I know God has directed me to and partially because He has shown me what area I need to allow Him to use. I thought that if we do take on this challenge, this experiment that will initially feel awkward and questionable, and allow Him to do something amazing with it, well then, we’re both doing this bold act of obedience together :D

Friday, May 24, 2013

Perturbed

Okay, here’s where I stand on the topic of young women pursuing young men, or woman pursuing men, or a nine year old girl pursuing a nine year old boy:
For the latter couple, just don't; you're too young.
For everyone else: Let the guy pursue. Why? I'll explain, but I will offend someone. Before I explain, though, I just want to say I DID NOT want to write this. Why? Two main reasons:
            1) I am the girl who was not noticed by the guy she fell for. Granted, I know (and did know) that any pursuit on either end would not have gone over well if only because it was not the right time for a relationship. Even so, I know the frustration of not being pursued. It sucks; and what's worse, it can hurt.
            2) Most of you will want to debate about this, and I will not. Not now and you know what, not ever.

The reason I am typing this is because God has been after me for too long about this. And when I tried my usual, "Whatever You say, it doesn't really matter, we both know where I end up either way so it makes no difference whether or not I stand on either side!" He kind of slapped me across the face with, "Don't talk to Me like that; if you can plainly see where I have been leading you in this area and you ignore Me, you are being foolish." So… I don't want to be foolish; and I don't want to ignore Him, either.

To the LADIES. From what I have observed, when the woman pursues the guy or tries to take the lead in a relationship, that is the area in which the woman will have to take leadership in the future. Now, this may not sound too bad. The girl pursues the guy she likes and he ends up liking her and agrees with all her standards. Yay! Awesome! No sex til marriage! Yeah; but what about after they're married? What about after the vows have been said and the children have come? Is he still taking leadership. Because from what I have witnessed on multiple occasions, he is not. He is very much laid back and allowing his wife to be the spiritual leader, he is allowing her to take all the initiative in the relationship. He is watching her interact with their children while he sits o the couch and claims not to know how to. And he may not know! But sure as golly isn't gonna learn by sitting on his butt! Yet it all goes back to when she initiated A-B-C with him. Hey, like I said, I am sure there are exceptions. Some guys, just like girls, are natural leaders and need little to no prompting. Also, I am not saying that we girls need to sit on our butts and not do anything or even encourage them (and I mean, "Come on, honey, I know you can do it" type of encouragement, NOT "Come on, boy, don't you know I like you, DATE ME!" type of encouragement). Let's face it ladies: men are natural pursuers, leaders, etc. I know, it's the twenty-first century and where in the Bible did you get that? I'll be honest, I do not have a list of Scriptures that exemplify what I am talking about. But I do know what I see, I know what I have witnessed. Ladies, I KNOW it's hard to sit back, pray to God about the guy you are interested in, and let him (or, what seems to happen more often, let him not) take notice and pursue you. I do not know what to say except go to God. You cannot tell me He does not know and does not care. And, I guess if you don't mind being the leader of your home, then ignore everything I said. But I wouldn't suggest that, if only because that takes away from your future man's meant-to-be role. Trust our Faithful Father to create a love story for you that far exceeds both your own plans and your expectations.

To the MEN. Here's how it is: start by pursuing God. That's right, you can breathe. I'm not asking you to propose to the next girl who blinks at you, nor am I suggesting you place your wife in  chair and command her to never again breathe until you are there to make sure she is okay. However, I am strongly suggesting that You begin fulfilling your God-ordained role as men by going after God with all you are. Just like I suggested with the girls that they take their frustrations to Him, I am suggesting that You take your fears and struggles to Him. He is the perfect "trainer"; he knows you intrinsically; your good and bad, your strengths and the areas that need a little (or a lot) more work. He will not laugh at you, will not turn you down, and will not make you look like an idiot in front if your friends. But He also will not allow you to spend your life doing little or nothing when He has called you to great and life-changing things!
And when it comes to us girls, you can trust Him to! He's not going to send you on a wild goose chase. I mean, if God is pricking at your heart to start up a friendship with a young lady, trust Him that it is for good. Whether it turns into something more, stays just as is, or even fizzles into nothing but a short and sweet friendship, let Him be your guide. Honor him, and honor her. I will not pressure you into going after us because that's not good for anyone. Soon you both will be left with a broken heart and a confused mind.


To EVERYONE. I know it ALL starts with God. Goodness gracious, why are we all so hesitant to take the little and/or important things to Him? Why are we so determined to do things His way, to let Him lead us. We all have different paths to take; some may look similar and others may look . But the ones that are God-honoring and worth the effort in prayer and action are the one that have both the guy and girl seeking to love God and others above all else. I know it's hard to wait. I know it's hard to take the initiative (not in relationship, but in other things). I know it's hard to trust God with something we can handle ourselves if we just do X-Y-Z. But is it wrong to wait and seek His guidance? I don't have a list of Scriptures that says it is.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Grace again...and again... and again...


By the time I leave this earth, I know I will have written well over 1,000 posts on Grace. Seriously.

Dictionary.com defines of Grace is as follows:

1.
elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2.
a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment
3.
favor or goodwill
4.
a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior
5.
mercy; clemency; pardon

When  think of Dictionary.com I think of Urban Dictionary. Here are few of their definitions (most of them had to do with a girl names Grace…):


1.         Grace
A admired feminine forename.
1) The swan glided over the lake gracefully.
2) Me: 'Grace is the cutest girl ever, She makes my heart beat faster, she's so beautyful. If you ever go out with her, you are one lucky guy...'

2.         Grace
Beauty, sunrises, singing birds, blossoming flowers. All those things that remind us why life is worth living.
Heaven on earth. A star to light your life.

3.         Grace
A girl who is the best of the best. Very artsy with an extreme amount of elegance, thus her name. This entails beautiful face, voice, mind, body, soul, thoughts, and aptitude in the arts. This girl is usually the best in everything. Thought to be a rare jewel, she is one to be held on to. One should not be surprised if this is difficult at least, for Grace is captivating to all around her.

I have no idea why I wanted to look up the term “Grace” on Urbandictionary.com, but you know what I found: nothing inappropriate! But more than that, all the definitions were positive descriptions of the word (or, in most cases, the girl).

Personally, I have not always seen Grace as something positive. For most of my life it was actually a mystery. “My Grace is sufficient for you,” Jesus tells Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9. But what does that mean, I wondered. God’s Grace is enough? Is it enough to block the pain from experiences that hurt more than I like to admit? Is it enough to give me what I need to go on and fulfill the commitments that no longer seem worth it? Is it enough to help me not drag everyone around me down even though I don’t have the strength to keep going? What is this mysterious Grace, and can it be compacted into an all-in-one pill so that I can take one dose and be set for life?

Well, I do not have a straight-from-God’s-mouth definition for you. However, I do know what I have come to understand it to be. As of this very moment, I have understood Grace to be God Himself coming alongside me and saying, “Daughter, I see you cannot do this on your own; allow me to walk with you through this, and when the burden gets heavy, talk to me about and allow me be with you each step”.

This, in my opinion, is a narrow definition of Grace because it is only being defined in light of our burdens. What about when we sin? I believe what is extended to us then is called mercy. What about when others wrong us or when they are seeking out our help? I believe then we are called to extend mercy and Grace to others. That does not meant that we should allow cruel people to cling to us and drag us down; but I do believe it means we do not harbor unforgiveness or bitterness in our hearts. And when it comes to those we are journeying through life with, I have come to see Grace as that which is extended in love and without keeping count of how many times it has been given.
So, that’s what I have to say about Grace for now.

Grace is beautiful and deep and an extension of Love itself :)

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Young(er Than Me) and "Without" Love


On one of my other blogs, I read a post from a teacher that talked about her middle school girls. She found out that one young student believed that since she did not have a boyfriend, she had no chance at love. That broke my heart because I remember thinking that earlier this year, and I’m twenty-one.

Now, I know the routine answers: Having a boyfriend won’t fix things, only complicate them, and, Well, you don’t need a guy! You need to take time to find out who you are! Yeah, it’s all so easy to say. And honestly after hearing it for most of my life, I have even come to believe that being single is not a living hell (actually, it’s not bad at all; it truly is a blessing). But then I hear something like what I just mentioned and I can’t help thinking: I know how that feels. And she is too young to be feeling that way! These are the thoughts that lead girls to act out in ways that they come to regret (and that we condemn) later on. Now I’m not saying we need to turn a blind eye to promiscuity or the likes, however, we also should not simply look at them and say, “You know you need to stop” without explaining to them why. Without letting them know that their chances at love are not shot because they are a preteen without a boyfriend! Seriously!?

I don’t know; this is all nice and pretty sounding and tomorrow we can all move on and pick up another cause for a few minutes or hours. I know there are “bigger’ things—you know what, I refuse to think that way. And I honestly do not know what to do except pray. But if that’s all that I can do for now, then that’s where I’ll start.

I’m not trying to start a movement or anything; I would be surprised if many reading this took this too seriously. But this is something that ruffles my little feathers, so I guess I needed to let it out. Plus I know I’ll be more likely to continue my prayers if I have some sort of accountability (again, I don’t assume this blog’s being read around the world, but putting on the internet will help me hold myself accountable).

I know this may sound trite to some, but whoever reads this, if you could just take a moment to pray for this young lady as well as all the girls who are surrounded by such foolishness. It definitely won’t hurt.

A Timely Post by Alyssa Joy!

What Mask Are You Wearing?

Monday, May 20, 2013

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I Don't Like This


And I know the practical thing is to look at You and trust You and then do my part. But my part requires me to not do what I have dreamed of doing, those same dreams You have given me. I know it is about waiting for Your perfect timing. The time for things as they have always been has passed. I guess I am saying that I do not like Your will.

But, after all complaining has been said and done, and the tears of anger and doubt and bitterness has been cried out, I look at You and I see Faithfulness shining from Your Face. I see Wisdom in Your eyes and Love in Your arms. I see goodness in Your heart. I notice the Challenge to Trust You in Your Will for my life, that Will that I am not too fond of. And I hear hope for something better in Your promises that whisper in my ear. I do not understand and I do not like what I see, but I do love You, and even if I didn't, I know You Love me.

So, basically what I'm saying is, I have no excuse not to trust or follow or worship.


Friday, May 17, 2013

Waiting


I just got off of Skype with one of my friends. I was talking to her about how, if I were honest, even though I have no desire to date and I am not ready for/do not want marriage right now, if I were to meet a godly young man that I was attracted to I would want to date him. Now, this may not sound so bad in and of itself, but you have yet to hear two important details: 1) I know God has called me to wait for my future husband when it comes to dating, and 2) I would date this guy just to screw my future husband over.

Further explanation: You know how you may get the sense from God to pray for your future spouse. I've heard and read many accounts of things like that happening; girls saying they sensed their future man was going through a hard time, guys getting the nudge to lift their future woman up to God in the middle of the night. Well, I have a hunch that my future husband is not waiting around for me to date, and that ticks me off. I don't see how it's fair that he gets to do whatever with whomever while I am bound by a promise to God to wait for him! Of course this sounds stupid and horrible, if only in light of the fact that I don't want to date right now (or ever, if I'm honest; I can't explain why, but I really just don't want to date). But when I think of who my future man might be with I am tempted to selfishly think, "Screw him; I'm going to have some fun myself."

When I look at my future husband from where I am right now, I see no reason to be selfless and honor God or him. When I look at my future husband from the point of view of meeting, being engaged to, and marrying him, I feel my ruffled emotions calm down a bit. When I think about God and how He has the best plans in mind for me and how He has called me His beloved Daughter and only wants the best for me…  I find myself on my knees praying that He changes my heart and gives me the desire to love my future husband NOW by the choices I make and even the thoughts I think.

Another view of this that struck me just ten minutes ago and is in fact the reason why I wanted to write this blog: Jesus died for me before I thought of entering into a relationship with Him. He knew how unfaithful I would be to Him not just before I accepted Him as my Savior and asked Him to forgive me for my sins, but also while He and I were in a relationship! He came on earth, suffered, and died that I may have life that was meant to be lived to the fullest for His glory and to my own good. And so, if my Faithful Friend so selflessly did such a thing for me, who I am to do less?

I know some may see this as extreme; how do I know what my husband's doing right now? Why should I make a big deal about waiting to date, especially when I don’t know who the guy could be? The whole purpose of this is to explain something I have been learning: the art of Love, of commitment, of patience. The beauty, struggle, and worth in dedicating ourselves to someone we have not even encountered, of giving our lives in service to a faithful God who knows what's ahead and knows what it will take to prepare our hearts and minds for it. I don't have an all-pleasing answer as to why I know I should surrender those ugly, selfish thoughts to God and walk this path He has laid out before me. I just know that I love Him too much to screw Him over and not go with His perfect plans for me. And I know I am learning to love him who is included in said perfect plans. That's all.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Commitment


Commitment to people has never been my strong point. Sometime over the course of my life I had acquired the fear of loved ones leaving me, whether that was through death, an unforeseen and uncontrollable circumstance, or simply by choice. I think of how a young man I once had a crush on the first few weeks of fourth grade moved away. I can still recall the hurt I felt that day he told me he was leaving.

When I came face-to-face with my "commitment issues" this past semester, I figured it would be years before the problem was resolved. I mean, no one who has spent their life so easily non-committed to people just wakes up one morning and decides, "When I'm in a relationship with someone, whether that be with a friend or with a family member, I'm going to stick to it!" No; such things take time.

In a previous post I talked about how God had been teaching me about Love. I was in no way hinting that I understand Love in all its vastness, but I have come to learn more about it and appreciate it. What I did not realize was that while I was learning this lesson, I was learning many more, one of them being a lesson in commitment.

In my way of thinking, we are stuck with our family. Like, no matter what, family is still family. However, concerning friendships, few people have ran through my mind with the label "commitment worthy" on them. Not that I am a heartless person; I just never believed in throwing around the promise, "We'll be friends forever." When I said that to someone, I meant it. When I didn't, I meant it. Rarely have I been in a relationship with someone outside of my family that I would consider worth the effort, time, and pain that commitment demands of us.

However, one of the lessons I realized I had been learning this past semester is that when we love someone, I mean real love, whether that be for a family member, a friend, or a significant other, we are committed to them. Now, this does not mean that the relationship won't take work. This does not mean that commitment will always be something cherished and appreciated, But I do believe that it means when times get tough and it’s easier to say, "This is over, we can’t do this anymore" we'll remember that we love them; and love does not give up so easily.

I'm not sure why I am typing this. I have been slightly emotionally out of it all day. I have been realizing so much in such a short period of time I am expecting… I don't even know. I pray that this blog post blesses someone. I'm going to drink some water now :)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Response to a Question: A Lesson Still in Its "Newborn" Stage ;)


I am currently reading through Praying for Your Future Husband by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. At the end of the second chapter, “Pray for His Heart”, one of the questions they asked is “How has your idea of what love is changed?” to which I (to my surprise) responded:

I have learned that Love is NOT a feeling, but it can be felt. It is beyond measure, cannot be contained, and has a mind of its own. It is not evil and it is not pain, but it hates evil and endures pain. Love is, at its core, selfless, and seeks to express itself in whatever way it can show that it is alive and well. It does not force itself on those it longs to reach out to, but it still reaches out, even if it is not wanted. Did I mention Love is selfless? It calls us, challenges us to do crazy things like pray for others even when we don’t see any good coming out of it. It causes us to think positively towards those who have hurt us. It causes us to live selflessly toward those we are sure will never take notice. It causes us to hope for the most out-there things and actually believe them to be attainable dreams.
Love is Who God is and what He has called us to be, toward Him, toward others.

As I read over all of this the day I wrote it, I saw that the pieces of Scripture that I had repeatedly read  this past semester of school had come to life for me, and I rejoiced in the power of God’s Word.
Today after re-reading my answer, I saw something else, something that touches me deeper than I could have hoped for: I saw that these past four month, during which I now see God was teaching me this lesson-- as painful, lonely, and crazy as they were-- were worth it.

And so my challenge to you, reader friend, is to love Christ and love others every day. It is worth it because He is worth it :D