Time

I just finished reading Psalm 103, and verse 15 caught my attention: "Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers we bloom and die." I read that and think that we are ever closer to going home, and I rejoice. However, I sensed God's Spirit stopping me and reminding me of how I was taught to view such verses in Scripture. I was always told that since our lives pass so quickly, we should live in a way that honors Christ. Then a few minutes later I sensed God telling me, "Use the time you have now."

I do not know why this keeps coming up, but it has several times in the past couple days. I keep thinking how I will not be in this season of my life forever (which is completely different from the view I normally have, that my life seems to never really change). God has all of us where we are for many reasons, but I believe one of them is to help others. No matter the different places in life, everyone has something to contribute to someone else. I cannot speak on the beauty and hard work that accompanies marriage, but I can speak of the beauty and hard work that accompanies the single life of one who doesn't want to spend her days being self-absorbed. I cannot speak on the drudgery of working a nine to five job, but I can speak on doing what I believe God has called me to do in this season of life.

All of our lives have purpose, and part of everyone's purpose is to speak Truth and encouragement to others. Tell people about Christ, show them that being a son or dautghter of God is something to desire! Write blogs, make people laugh, offer wisdom to those who will listen, love even if it is inconvenient.

Wow... You'd think I was not twenty-one; I have always been one to rejoice at the fact that God can and will use my past for His glory. But I have never been much of a "live-in-the-moment" type of person. His Grace abounds!

Humble Encouragement

The realization struck me that one day I will not be single and girls may not take my words of encouragement as seriously because I will not longer be where they are. Of course, the exact opposite may be true, but while I am where I am, I will allow God to use me as He wills to.

I have come to see that there is such a longing for emotional fulfillment and we seek this out many ways. What woman does not want to know she is loved, cherished, beautiful, and wanted? Seriously, even the most surrounded, family-ed, friended woman has moments where she just wants to hear, feel, or see that she is as blessed with love as she is! As important as it is for us as humans to come along side each other and speak words of truth and affirmation to each other, we must also remember that our Heavenly Father Who can and will fulfill our deepest longings and needs. 

Why doesn't He just do so once and for all so that we never feel empty, lonely, etc.? I am not sure; maybe so that we never forget that it is HIM we need above all. Maybe because if we did not feel our need we would not appreciate how Whole and Beautiful He is. Again, I do not know. But just as He seeks after and pursues us, He wants us to pursue Him. So if that means taking the time to fall on our knees or give in to tears of longing as we approach Him, why allow pride and propriety to stop us? He sees, hears, and feels for us! He understands and cherishes beyond the capacity of any human being (no matter how wonderful!).

I also do not know why some of us struggle with this more than others. I can imagine a few in my life reading this and shaking their heads, baffled at how one girl can say so much about one subject. Again, I do not know; I did not create myself. I look at my heart and emotions and see a mess of blood and immaturity. Somehow, in His Sovereign way, God looks down and sees a beautiful creation, masterpiece. I see this now; most days I do not. I wish I didn't struggle seeing myself as such. But you know what! If I didn't struggle I would not have compassion on and understanding for those of you who feel the same way.

So, I want to encourage those reading to run to their Forever and Constant, letting Him know your deepest needs and desires. And, when others try to truly Nd selflessly love you, allow them. Do not put up a wall or front. God's Grace is sufficient, but He will not force it on you!

Do NOT Look at the Past

Don’t look at the past. Don’t look at the past. Do not look at the past.

“Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.”

Isaiah 43:18 NIV

 

No matter how many times He told me this, how could I not look at the past, or what will be the past. Being an analyzer, it made perfect sense to me to analyze the possible scores of faults my future husband will have, particularly those of physical and emotional unfaithfulness to me. Crazy, maybe; but you tell me how many young men you know who are saving themselves for their future wife. Exactly; not so crazy.

What is crazy is knowing that you have not been squeaky clean your entire life, that you are not faultless, then to look at whoever and condemn them to hell for their sins. That, my friends, should be considered a certifiable act.

But, but, you’ve been forgiven. You’ve repented more times than you can count and God has told you on multiple occasions that He has forgiven and released and redeemed you. So then, all that is left to deal with are the scars and hurtful actions of others toward you, right? Wrong.

Because when Jesus died for your sins, He died for theirs too. Awkward.

You know what else is crazy? The fact that I have just realized that. I strive so much to be perfect because I HATE the thought of hurting people the way they have hurt me; but I am not perfect. Neither are they, those who have, will, and do hurt me. So…

I can keep looking at the past (or what will be the past—a slightly more ridiculous feat); or I can receive and dish back forgiveness, grace, release. It may not feel easy, but I am pretty sure it did not feel too easy for Jesus.

Also, just as badly as we want forgiveness for ourselves, others need that same forgiveness. Release. Grace.

Short and sweet this week :)

Thor and Promises (Mostly the Latter)

So many random thoughts:

My friends are such good people compared to me; maybe that's why God blesses them in ways He has not blessed me.

I am not sure whether to be as honest with God as I am with my future husband or if I should tone it down a notch for him; I am not sure any human being should go through the tirades I go through with God. I am almost sure God should not have to go through them either, yet He does.

I really want to watch the movie Thor right now, but when I get in this frazzled state of mind, the only reason I want to watch that movie is because he looks so good and I am so single. On a side note, when I'm married what will I have to scream at God about? Will the world end? I think so. I will one day have to approximate date of when Jesus will return guys; I'll keep you updated.

Yes, lots of thoughts, all related in one way or another, but I will not discuss that. I'm using self-control and discretion. Miracles are still happening, people.

Okay, I am told we are really starting here:

Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. I will call a swift bird of prey from the east— a leader from a distant land to come and do my bidding. I have said what I would do, and I will do it.  Isaiah 46:10-11 NLT.

And so there is nothing to say in argument; I know ;)

"But what You promised has not come about yet; how much longer will I have to wait?

Everything I plan will come to pass.

"Why can't You bring it all about now?"

I do whatever I wish.

"Why do You place desires in my heart and promises in my mind only to hold off on their fulfillment?"

I have said what I would do, and I will do it.

They tell us to enjoy this part of life because when we get older we'll wish we had used it to do more good, to appreciate the resources and time we have now. Okay; I still want bigger and better. I still want a husband… most of the time. I still want California, a kitty, and a puppy. But I don't want to spend forever longing for something that I do not have, especially when, realistically, I have more than most. And, if we're determined to hold on to the mindset that things are not as good as they could be either, I'll repeat what I was told last night: For that girl who is stuck in childhood prostitution, for the boy who is being made to be a soldier and a murderer, and for the parents who really are not able to provide for their family, things could be better. And yet some of those in the worst situation find a way to praise God and trust Him through it all. I think if we all dig deep, we can do the same. He said His Grace is sufficient. Let's assume that it is true for the broken nail, the broken heart, and the broken arm.

Jack the Brave

Jack the Brave: blog post by Lacey Sturm

Wrestling

Something I thought more than usual about  this week is wrestling with God in prayer. I LOVE that portion of Scripture where Jacob wrestles the Angel. When the Angel tells him to let to because the sun is coming up (at which point I'm thinking, "Why are you concerned about the sun?" then I briefly think of Twilight, laugh, and turn my thoughts back to the story), Jacob stubbornly replies, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." (Genesis 32:26 NLT). I love that, mainly because that is something I would say; not that I could see myself wrestling an angel or God, but verbally I have had more than a few "wrestling" matches with Him, letting Him know that I expect more from Him than what I currently see. Initially, these were demands made from a hurting and selfish heart. Now-a-days, they are more so declarations of faith. "I know You have more in mind for me, God. So despite how I feel and how much I do not like this view, I am asking and trusting You for better." I no longer have the desire to go head to head with God with my normal complaints. Every day I come to better understand that He is fully aware what's going on in my life; therefore, there's no need to throw a hissy fit.

Another a part of this story that I love is the verse above the aforementioned one.

"When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket." (Genesis 32:25 NLT)

Even after Jacob was wounded, he didn't let go. He was going to fight until he got what God had promised him. Again, I'm not suggesting we turn into toddlers whenever things don't go our way, but I also don't believe when things get hard God wants us take matters sitting down. He wants us to bring our hearts to Him and lift up our concerns with thanksgiving and prayer (Philippians 4:6).

I love how honest I can be with God. I'm learning how to respect Him more and not just say whatever I feel without recalling With Whom I am speaking; I am learning honesty with Wisdom. I am also learning how to thank Him for His goodness when I do not feel particularly good. No matter what, He's still God; His Word stands strong underneath all kinds of pressure, awkward, and uncomfortable situations and people.

"Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish." (Isaiah 46:10 NLT)

Rest

Father, rest. I, we, need Your rest. Rest, Father. Why does it seem like the second one thing is placed into Your hands another falls into our own? Why does it seem like once we are able to release and be free that we are facing another challenge? This is tiring! This seems so hopeless. These are the things that make me afraid of the good times because I know another battle is just around the bend.

Oh, but Daddy, You are so beautiful and holy and sure. Help us to hold on to You and Who You are. I get so tired, but that does not take away from who You are. I hear it only gets worse, but I also hear that You are faithful. I see so much more terrain to cross, but I also see You are bigger than any amount of land and water as well as so much more powerful than any pain. And You Love us.

So, my friends, keep pursuing Him with me :)