Remember Grace

Reflection and Hope

This year started off with my believing I knew who my future husband was. You could not have convinced me that I was wrong, and I had so many plans that I believed would be carried out in "God's timing", or more accurately, in my preferred timeline. Fast forward to the end of the summer and I not only realized that I had been wrong, but that I no longer was sure when I was hearing God's voice and when my own or the enemy's was chiming in with their twisted ideas and plans. The last few months have been a reminder of how foolish I was, considering that last fall was the time I thought I had heard from God. One year later, I am reminded of how I had spent the entire month of December dreaming about how I thought my relationship with this guy would be like and how wonderful I would feeling being pursued and feeling cherished. I'm reminding of how elated I was at finally knowing who my who I was to marry. I was enthralled at the idea of being done with crushes and infatuations-- finally I could say yes to the one God had created me to be with forever and always. Everyone knows what it is like to be embarrassed by one's faults, and those who have to keep themselves humble lest pride take ahold of them knows how I feel to look back at that.

Even so, we were not meant to stay down, tied down to yesterday's doubts, mistakes, and shortcomings. As God's children, we were meant to be more than overcomers!

This time last year I would have drowned my regrets and embarrassment with songs about unrequited love and disappointments. This would be embarrassing to admit if I didn't know that way too many girls do this. There is more to life than what we do wrong, than our sins. I'm not saying we do not have faults or that we are not in need of a Savior, but I am saying that because Jesus came, we have hope and Grace- hope that something better awaits us than what we have here on earth, and the Grace to live victoriously and free from the bondage of regret that tries to keep us locked up in yesterday, or last year, or decades ago.

We serve a faithful, patient and understanding God. I do not fully understand why He has us wait so long for what he promises us, and it hurts me more than I can describe. I like to know the purpose of things, processes,words, etc, are, and when I do not, or when I know that it could be explained to me but it will not be, I feel as if I am purposefully and wrongfully being kept in the dark as punishment. But that is not who God is. Revenge is his, as it says in His word, but he is still loving, merciful, and forbearing. He does not count our sin against us, but if we have asked for forgiveness, He casts them as far away from Himself as the east is from the west.

I do not fully understand, and that does not make me smile; not like is should (pride: I feel as if I need to earn every good thing in my life). But God is not hateful and he does not play games. He has the very best in plan for His children, and His Word is faithful healing, and Life. I do not know what you are looking back on this year, but let me encourage you with this: whether good, bad, or a mixture of both, it is in the past. God was with You with then, He is with you now, and he will be with You tomorrow and, Lord willing, in this year to come. Do not doubt His goodness no matter how it feels or looks because He is doing great things for those whom He loves. And do not refrain from encouraging one another, because we can all use it even when it does not appear that we do. It is never wrong to give a word in due season :)

I may not know you, but I love you; God knows you intricately and He loves you more!

Christmas Break Goal Day 3- Facing the Giants

Today I watched Facing the Giants, and by the end I had joyful tears in my eyes,

I have seen this movie several times, but by allowing myself to really take in what it meant for both Grant, his wife, and the school body that he was a part of come from years of defeat (as a whole as well as personally) to the times of triumph and victory, I was blessed with a visual of God’s faithfulness to His children.

What stuck out to me the most was the scene where a man came to the coach and read Revelation 3:8 to him: “I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me.” He then proceeded to tell Grant that God would come through for those who prepared for God’s provision. In other words, it is one thing to ask God for the needed finances, food, or any kind of provision, and an altogether another thing to live as if one believes God will come through. To not speak negatively about what we are trusting Him for, to wait with expectation and hope. I can’t tell you how many times God had God has given me Scriptures about hope and waiting on Him with patience. SOmetimes this requires us to be still and know that He is God, faithful and trustworthy. But I am learning that most of the time it means to live this out. It does not always feel good, it may make us look and sound dumb, but from what God’s Word tells us, and from what I am learning, it is well worth the humiliation and heartache to persevere with a joyful, thankful heart.

I have a few Scriptures I would like to share with you, but I do not want to overwhelm you with words that may not mean anything right now. So instead, I will leave you with the some practical advice that the Holy Spirit has been constantly reminding me of lately: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7 :)

He is beyond faithful!

Christmas Break Goal Day 2- Veggietales, MacLarry and the Stinky Cheese Battle

I was trying too hard to get something out of this one. It wasn't until I relaxed and enjoyed it that an exchange between MacLarry and the Roman emperor caught my attention. MacLarry had spent his entire life living in the shadow of his father, Chog Norrius, always told that he needed to be like all of the other Baber-barians who spent their time pranking their rivals, the Romans. Although MacLarry was a great little inventor, he was horrible at pranking, so he eventually went to find someone who would appreciate him for who he was. In the middle of this episode, MacLarry had a conversation with the emperor of Rome, who told him that people like to be made to feel special. Although Larry later finds out that he was being tricked by this emperor, at that particular time he was able to hear the words he always wanted to hear from his father.

Who doesn't want to feel special, to know that, just as they are, they are accepted and valuable? I think about how, earlier, I asked my brother to sign a picture that he had given to me. I asked him for his autograph since it was his artwork, and without intention I caught a look of joy on his face at the opportunity to sign his work. In that moment he felt special, without having to ask or put forth extra effort just to be noticed.

Just like Chog Norris had the power to build-up or tear down his son, so do we have the same power. I know I personally do not take all of the chances I have had to build up the people in my life, and I regret that. But thankfully, by God’s grace, I have the chance everyday to encourage others.

On another related, and shorter, note, I want to encourage those who are like me: Every time you hear a compliment, you cringe and have the insatiable desire to run away screaming and hide under a rock. I understand. Stop it. I know that it’s awkward, you may not be used to it, you’re afraid your pride will become inflated and you’ll plummet out of the heavens to your death… but chill out. God says so many beautiful, positive, and encouraging things to His children in His Word, and most of the time we do not even deserve it. But if our Father speaks over us such loving truth, then I believe He intended for us to do the same for others… and others for us. I know it may not be easy, but I know from experience that if you ask, He will help you to receive verbal affirmation with joy and peace :)

Christmas Break Goal Day 1- Veggietales, The Little House That Stood

This is a Veggietales week; I decided that after a few days of pushing to get everything done early (i.e. three take home exams), and with a few more school-related details to finish up, I needed to start off easy.

This is one of my favorite Veggietales to-date because of the humor and, obviously, the message. The Little House That Stood  has two fairy tale-twists to the parables of the Wise and Foolish Builders (Matthew 7:24-27) and the Good Samaritan (Matthew 5:25-37). My favorite part is normally the first one, but because I was watching with my brothers (one of which was doing the dishes while the other was on his cellphone… like me) it was hard to pay close attention to what was going on. Surprisingly, what caught my attention this time around was the Humpty-Dumpty’s attitude in “The Good Egg of Gooseville”. He was so determined to fix his cracking shell and go on a vacation that he overlooked the needs of others, even to the extent of pushing away the little bear who wanted to help him help others. Children have such an innocent and simple outlook on life, and I wonder how many times I decide life is too complicated, hard, and rough that I don’t need to do what I know is right, no matter that cost I will pay.

Honestly, I see myself as a very selfless person— just recently I  was telling a friend how I wanted to have someone care for me the way I do for others. I know this is a normal desire, and I do not believe it is sinful. Even so, I am also aware that I will not get very far if I walk around with the mindset of, “Why don’t you serve me for a change!” Would it be nice to have someone plan their time around me, go out fo their way to be there for me when I need them, and take the time to listen to my list of complaints like Humpty did in the fairytale parable? Of course. But is life really about what people can do for me, or even what I can do for them? No. It is about honoring and loving God, others, and ourselves. Quite often this will neither look nor feel the way we want it to, but that’s alright because at the end of the day it is always worth it. I am learning (ever learning) to balance giving my time to others, to God, and to myself. I am not sure I will ever get it fully right while I’m here, but just like Humpty learned the beauty of caring for others and accepting the care of others to be a worthwhile adventure, I’m not doubtful that I will find the same to be true for me. And I hope that you come to find the same to be true for yourself.

Christmas Break Goal :)

With Christmas break impending, I was concerned that I would get bored. One of my favorite things to do while relaxing is to watch and analyze movies, whether out loud with others or with just me and Jesus. In an attempt to ward off discontentment, I set out to gather some movies that I could spread out over my four week break and watch in my colossal amount of spare time; I ended up with a total of 21 DVDs that I wanted to watch, 17 of which I currently having, and four of which are on the way :) What's more, I was recently able to by one of favorite shirt series, called The Stranger, so along with 5-6 DVDs/week, I plan on watching 1-2 episodes of this show per week.
I know, I sound like a girl who has way too much time on her hands, and that would be an accurate description from where I'm standing, but as I was sitting and watching today's DVD, I thought about how much I have learned from the movies I have seen, and how much I relearn from those same movies. Since I enjoy finding deep meaning in everyday happenings, I have decided to share with you what I learned from what I watch. I know many won't care, but these Blog posts will be both for myself and also for whoever is meant to read them :D
And so, without further ado..