Phantom Lovers

I go back to fantasy crushes like Bieber and Young because I know that they will never love me back; I know that there is no chance there and because my heart has been conditioned to being alone and phantom-ly rejected by guys I do know and I allow the pain to wash over me in order to be back in to a familiar place. Why is it I keep running back to the counterfeits? Because that is what I know. And I know, that is pathetic and I need to stop and be patient. And this time I realized that before the pain could reach my heart; I looked up and thought, “You don’t know me. Oh, you might one day, but then it will be too late because I have a Lover and He’s known me forever and has never left me disappointed because he didn’t know my care for Him existed.” Not to mention wherever my man is; wherever he is, he’s not going to find me panting over your face on the computer. He’s going to find me panting from how hard I just worshipped my Faithful Lover.

Shahbam ;)

(Nothing against either one of these young men or any other famous guy; I’m a just done with phantom lovers— those who only existed in my mind. You say that’s creepy and weird; I say there are many more girls like me out there and I don’t want them suffering unnecessarily like I did.)

God is… no words :D

Faithful Lover

Something I LOVE about my Heavenly Father is that I can be longing for a human romance, go to Him and worship Him to let Him know that I love Him, and He ALWAYS meets me where I am. I may not always feel it as strongly as at other times,  but He ALWAYS meets me. I don’t have to cry on my pillow and feel alone, I don’t have to search for a substitute while I wait for whoever God has for me, and I do not have to find another imperfect and temporary source of fulfillment. I just run to the arms of my Father and tell Him, “Even though I don’t have that human romance right now, I recognize that I have You, and You are enough. I love You, Daddy!”

God is beautiful, amazing, fulfilling, and ENOUGH. He is love; pursue Him!

Bethel Music- You Know Me (ft. Steffany Frizzell)

Bethel Music- You Know Me (ft. Steffany Frizzell)

God

Today I was shaken to my core by the realization that I not only need God, but I must have Him.

Let me explain via a short story:

I use to hate the song "How He Loves Me." I remember when I first heard it; standing there in church with my arms down at my side in defiance, I told God "This is not a worship song. We're supposed to be worshipping You, not telling ourselves how much You love us. We're supposed to be loving You." I remember God telling me, "Sing that song to Me," which made no logical sense to me (I truly believe that one day I will fully understand that God is not bound by human logic). I know that God has called us to surrender our lives to Him, but do we know what that looks like. And, call me overly emotional, but do we know what that feels like? Well, I do not know how to explain it to you, but I can tell you that as I sang "How He Loves Us" to my Daddy, and every time I have sung it afterward, I have felt His Love. And if you thought the love of a friend, family member, or lover was indescribable and incomparable… You should join me as I taste and see that the Lord is good :D

The reason why only God can fulfill us is because He is the only entity that exists without the help of others-- anything and everything else exist as a result of His creating it. Today I was shaken to my core by the realization that I not only need God, but I must have Him.