My stomach is nauseous from the lies I’ve been intaking or far too long. It’s 2:37 am. I just want to sleep. I understand that some nights one may not be able to sleep, but I refuse to put up with this. Now anymore. Not when I know I have crossed a line into a place where I can finally negate the lies with truth.
Yes, I have gone 22 years without knowing that I am worth being sought after for who I am, not for what I can give. Okay. If that is going to break me then I might as well end it. If all I am worth is to make someone drool, then my value is eerily low. I’m not sure what the deal is but I do not I’m not going to pursue attention I get everyday all day, maybe just not in the way I would have asked for it. But when God blesses, he really does over do it.
I am wanted and pursued by the God of the entire universe; I am blessed beyond measure. And I am aware of love from more than I care to count, partially because I am lazy and want to sleep, partially because there really are a lot. My cup overflows. Yes, and even though I walk through the valley of lies, I will not fear evil, for He, the Author and Finisher of my faith is with me. I do not necessarily enjoy the pain, but neither will I cringe and fall under its grasp; the truth sets me free. I am single and I do not appear to be wanted in a romantic and respectable sense. But Someone deemed me wanted enough to give His Life so that I can live and live more abundantly, not wake up in the middle of the night hurting over something I have never had. So good night, night, and goodbye irrational thoughts. If it is God’s will, it will come about. No matter how you fear, little heart, you are loved more than You could ever comprehend. Pain, leave; joy and contentment, run free.
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