Weak and Strong

I am getting to the point where I don't even want to read God's Word because I have become aware of something I haven't taken into account until recently. I am weak and I need God's Grace for everything. I mean everything. Okay, some things are common sense. Others, He gives options; we aren't robots, so either-or-type choices will not detrimentally affect anyone. But there are situations where I need Him, but I look around and everyone else seems to function in these areas with ease. Granted, most are not honest about their weaknesses, but that fact does nothing for me when I am struggling, when I am having to constantly ask for help. I wonder, "What's the point of declaring God's Truth over my life when I obviously fail so often in this area?" I feel like a child trying to play grown up, a young adult failing at the "adult" part.

"Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT)

This verse has two components, and the Holy Spirit has made it clear to me that I can look at them through my weakness or through God's strength.

Through my weakness: God's grace is all I need and His power works best in weakness. Really? Well, that would be okay if it weren't for the fact that when I am weak, I tend to mess up, and messing up produces consequences. Of course, the whole point is for me to rely on His Grace and not try to move in these weak moments on my own. But then I have to blindly trust that I am actually being led by God and not allow fear to make me choose to take over and... This is just a downward spiral waiting to take over. The second part of this verse is no better. I mean, of course I want God's power to work in my life! It sounds cool AND it will help me out. But boasting in my weaknesses!? If everyone else is going to be tight-lipped about their shortcomings, why do I need to open mine? Not only that, but how do I boast in my weaknesses without complaining and making it al about me?

Well, I am certainly feeling some form of depression after obsessing over myself. Now let's take a look at this verse through Christ's strength, through faith: "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Well that's awesome, because that means I'm covered! No matter the situation, how I'm feeling, or who is in front of me, I will always have what I need to deal, God's Grace! When I am strong, I can ask for Wisdom and guidance. When I am not, I can rely on His Grace!

"So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." This is where I struggle to look at God's Words through faith; I'm still struggling with my grudge with humanity for their "lack" of weaknesses. But I cannot act based off of how everyone else acts. That would make people my god, and that is a scary thought. So to ensure that I allow Christ's Grace to work in my life, God wants me to be honest, no, to BOAST, in my weaknesses. To say, "I appreciate the compliment, but I actually did not know how to handle that. I just asked for God's Grace, Wisdom, whatever and spoke in faith." Or, "I understand how you feel. I use to/still do feel weak in that area as well. However, I am learning and getting better at letting God's Grace lead me, because without Him I completely fail." This sounds excruciatingly painful to me, but it also sounds like I am no longer alone in this. I have God's wonderful, ever-plenty Grace AND opportunities to let others know just how wonderful and ever-present God is to those who rely on Him.

I don't know about you,but after looking at this Scripture from both viewpoints, I'll keep working on leaning on His Grace. It saves me from a mind cramp, and it glorifies Him!