Perturbed

Okay, here’s where I stand on the topic of young women pursuing young men, or woman pursuing men, or a nine year old girl pursuing a nine year old boy:

For the latter couple, just don't; you're too young.

For everyone else: Let the guy pursue. Why? I'll explain, but I will offend someone. Before I explain, though, I just want to say I DID NOT want to write this. Why? Two main reasons:

            1) I am the girl who was not noticed by the guy she fell for. Granted, I know (and did know) that any pursuit on either end would not have gone over well if only because it was not the right time for a relationship. Even so, I know the frustration of not being pursued. It sucks; and what's worse, it can hurt.

            2) Most of you will want to debate about this, and I will not. Not now and you know what, not ever.

The reason I am typing this is because God has been after me for too long about this. And when I tried my usual, "Whatever You say, it doesn't really matter, we both know where I end up either way so it makes no difference whether or not I stand on either side!" He kind of slapped me across the face with, "Don't talk to Me like that; if you can plainly see where I have been leading you in this area and you ignore Me, you are being foolish." So… I don't want to be foolish; and I don't want to ignore Him, either.

To the LADIES. From what I have observed, when the woman pursues the guy or tries to take the lead in a relationship, that is the area in which the woman will have to take leadership in the future. Now, this may not sound too bad. The girl pursues the guy she likes and he ends up liking her and agrees with all her standards. Yay! Awesome! No sex til marriage! Yeah; but what about after they're married? What about after the vows have been said and the children have come? Is he still taking leadership. Because from what I have witnessed on multiple occasions, he is not. He is very much laid back and allowing his wife to be the spiritual leader, he is allowing her to take all the initiative in the relationship. He is watching her interact with their children while he sits o the couch and claims not to know how to. And he may not know! But sure as golly isn't gonna learn by sitting on his butt! Yet it all goes back to when she initiated A-B-C with him. Hey, like I said, I am sure there are exceptions. Some guys, just like girls, are natural leaders and need little to no prompting. Also, I am not saying that we girls need to sit on our butts and not do anything or even encourage them (and I mean, "Come on, honey, I know you can do it" type of encouragement, NOT "Come on, boy, don't you know I like you, DATE ME!" type of encouragement). Let's face it ladies: men are natural pursuers, leaders, etc. I know, it's the twenty-first century and where in the Bible did you get that? I'll be honest, I do not have a list of Scriptures that exemplify what I am talking about. But I do know what I see, I know what I have witnessed. Ladies, I KNOW it's hard to sit back, pray to God about the guy you are interested in, and let him (or, what seems to happen more often, let him not) take notice and pursue you. I do not know what to say except go to God. You cannot tell me He does not know and does not care. And, I guess if you don't mind being the leader of your home, then ignore everything I said. But I wouldn't suggest that, if only because that takes away from your future man's meant-to-be role. Trust our Faithful Father to create a love story for you that far exceeds both your own plans and your expectations.

To the MEN. Here's how it is: start by pursuing God. That's right, you can breathe. I'm not asking you to propose to the next girl who blinks at you, nor am I suggesting you place your wife in  chair and command her to never again breathe until you are there to make sure she is okay. However, I am strongly suggesting that You begin fulfilling your God-ordained role as men by going after God with all you are. Just like I suggested with the girls that they take their frustrations to Him, I am suggesting that You take your fears and struggles to Him. He is the perfect "trainer"; he knows you intrinsically; your good and bad, your strengths and the areas that need a little (or a lot) more work. He will not laugh at you, will not turn you down, and will not make you look like an idiot in front if your friends. But He also will not allow you to spend your life doing little or nothing when He has called you to great and life-changing things!

And when it comes to us girls, you can trust Him to! He's not going to send you on a wild goose chase. I mean, if God is pricking at your heart to start up a friendship with a young lady, trust Him that it is for good. Whether it turns into something more, stays just as is, or even fizzles into nothing but a short and sweet friendship, let Him be your guide. Honor him, and honor her. I will not pressure you into going after us because that's not good for anyone. Soon you both will be left with a broken heart and a confused mind.

To EVERYONE. I know it ALL starts with God. Goodness gracious, why are we all so hesitant to take the little and/or important things to Him? Why are we so determined to do things His way, to let Him lead us. We all have different paths to take; some may look similar and others may look . But the ones that are God-honoring and worth the effort in prayer and action are the one that have both the guy and girl seeking to love God and others above all else. I know it's hard to wait. I know it's hard to take the initiative (not in relationship, but in other things). I know it's hard to trust God with something we can handle ourselves if we just do X-Y-Z. But is it wrong to wait and seek His guidance? I don't have a list of Scriptures that says it is.