Commitment

Commitment to people has never been my strong point. Sometime over the course of my life I had acquired the fear of loved ones leaving me, whether that was through death, an unforeseen and uncontrollable circumstance, or simply by choice. I think of how a young man I once had a crush on the first few weeks of fourth grade moved away. I can still recall the hurt I felt that day he told me he was leaving.

When I came face-to-face with my "commitment issues" this past semester, I figured it would be years before the problem was resolved. I mean, no one who has spent their life so easily non-committed to people just wakes up one morning and decides, "When I'm in a relationship with someone, whether that be with a friend or with a family member, I'm going to stick to it!" No; such things take time.

In a previous post I talked about how God had been teaching me about Love. I was in no way hinting that I understand Love in all its vastness, but I have come to learn more about it and appreciate it. What I did not realize was that while I was learning this lesson, I was learning many more, one of them being a lesson in commitment.

In my way of thinking, we are stuck with our family. Like, no matter what, family is still family. However, concerning friendships, few people have ran through my mind with the label "commitment worthy" on them. Not that I am a heartless person; I just never believed in throwing around the promise, "We'll be friends forever." When I said that to someone, I meant it. When I didn't, I meant it. Rarely have I been in a relationship with someone outside of my family that I would consider worth the effort, time, and pain that commitment demands of us.

However, one of the lessons I realized I had been learning this past semester is that when we love someone, I mean real love, whether that be for a family member, a friend, or a significant other, we are committed to them. Now, this does not mean that the relationship won't take work. This does not mean that commitment will always be something cherished and appreciated, But I do believe that it means when times get tough and it’s easier to say, "This is over, we can’t do this anymore" we'll remember that we love them; and love does not give up so easily.

I'm not sure why I am typing this. I have been slightly emotionally out of it all day. I have been realizing so much in such a short period of time I am expecting… I don't even know. I pray that this blog post blesses someone. I'm going to drink some water now :)