"Great Is Your Faithfulness"

A friend of mine texted me to let me know that my prayers had been answered… for a family member of hers. Last week she had asked me to lift up some things to God and I have been for the past week. I don’t recall specifically what or how I prayed, but obviously God both heard and answered them. She sent me this long text about what He had been doing for them and it was quite an extensive list. And in my selfishness and bitterness I thought, “So You answer my prayers for others, but not for me.”

I have this desire to be honest with God, but even I knew that this thought was a bunch of crap. Sure, I can point out some areas that I have not yet seen God work in, areas that I have been praying about for YEARS, and the answers I have been looking for have yet to show their faces. My heart glances over all of the many ways that He has and still is coming through for me and focusses on the few unanswered, seemingly untouched areas of my life. How so like the heart; blind to all that is not as it would have things be. Well, as hurt and frustrated I am, and as much as I honestly want God to move in these areas, I refuse to be stuck on a situation that is not exactly as I would like it when I could be focussed on Jesus, the Faithful Lover of my soul.

The Holy Spirit led me to Lamentations 3. I use to read a few verses years ago, but I do not remember ever reading the whole chapter before. Well, I did today, and I encourage you, if you are feeling that God has screwed you over, I am here to tell You He has not. He is good. Read this passage and remember that it is titled “Great Is Your Faithfulness” for a very good reason.

Lamentations 3

English Standard Version (ESV)

Great Is Your Faithfulness

I am the man who has seen affliction

   under the rod of his wrath;

2 he has driven and brought me

   into darkness without any light;

3 surely against me he turns his hand

   again and again the whole day long.

4 He has made my flesh and my skin waste away;

   he has broken my bones;

5 he has besieged and enveloped me

   with bitterness and tribulation;

6 he has made me dwell in darkness

   like the dead of long ago.

7 He has walled me about so that I cannot escape;

   he has made my chains heavy;

8 though I call and cry for help,

   he shuts out my prayer;

9 he has blocked my ways with blocks of stones;

   he has made my paths crooked.

10 He is a bear lying in wait for me,

   a lion in hiding;

11 he turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces;

   he has made me desolate;

12 he bent his bow and set me

   as a target for his arrow.

13 He drove into my kidneys

   the arrows of his quiver;

14 I have become the laughingstock of all peoples,

   the object of their taunts all day long.

15 He has filled me with bitterness;

   he has sated me with wormwood.

16 He has made my teeth grind on gravel,

   and made me cower in ashes;

17 my soul is bereft of peace;

   I have forgotten what happiness[a] is;

18 so I say, “My endurance has perished;

   so has my hope from the Lord.”

19 Remember my affliction and my wanderings,

   the wormwood and the gall!

20 My soul continually remembers it

   and is bowed down within me.

21 But this I call to mind,

   and therefore I have hope:

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[b]

   his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

   great is your faithfulness.

24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

   “therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

   to the soul who seeks him.

26 It is good that one should wait quietly

   for the salvation of the Lord.

27 It is good for a man that he bear

   the yoke in his youth.

28 Let him sit alone in silence

   when it is laid on him;

29 let him put his mouth in the dust—

   there may yet be hope;

30 let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,

   and let him be filled with insults.

31 For the Lord will not

   cast off forever,

32 but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion

   according to the abundance of his steadfast love;

33 for he does not afflict from his heart

   or grieve the children of men.

34 To crush underfoot

   all the prisoners of the earth,

35 to deny a man justice

   in the presence of the Most High,

36 to subvert a man in his lawsuit,

   the Lord does not approve.

37 Who has spoken and it came to pass,

   unless the Lord has commanded it?

38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High

   that good and bad come?

39 Why should a living man complain,

   a man, about the punishment of his sins?

40 Let us test and examine our ways,

   and return to the Lord!

41 Let us lift up our hearts and hands

   to God in heaven:

42 “We have transgressed and rebelled,

   and you have not forgiven.

43 “You have wrapped yourself with anger and pursued us,

   killing without pity;

44 you have wrapped yourself with a cloud

   so that no prayer can pass through.

45 You have made us scum and garbage

   among the peoples.

46 “All our enemies

   open their mouths against us;

47 panic and pitfall have come upon us,

   devastation and destruction;

48 my eyes flow with rivers of tears

   because of the destruction of the daughter of my people.

49 “My eyes will flow without ceasing,

   without respite,

50 until the Lord from heaven

   looks down and sees;

51 my eyes cause me grief

   at the fate of all the daughters of my city.

52 “I have been hunted like a bird

   by those who were my enemies without cause;

53 they flung me alive into the pit

   and cast stones on me;

54 water closed over my head;

   I said, ‘I am lost.’

55 “I called on your name, O Lord,

   from the depths of the pit;

56 you heard my plea, ‘Do not close

   your ear to my cry for help!’

57 You came near when I called on you;

   you said, ‘Do not fear!’

58 “You have taken up my cause, O Lord;

   you have redeemed my life.

59 You have seen the wrong done to me, O Lord;

   judge my cause.

60 You have seen all their vengeance,

   all their plots against me.

61 “You have heard their taunts, O Lord,

   all their plots against me.

62 The lips and thoughts of my assailants

   are against me all the day long.

63 Behold their sitting and their rising;

   I am the object of their taunts.

64 “You will repay them,[c] O Lord,

   according to the work of their hands.

65 You will give them[d] dullness of heart;

   your curse will be[e] on them.

66 You will pursue them[f] in anger and destroy them

   from under your heavens, O Lord.”

Christmas Break Goal Day 3- Facing the Giants

Today I watched Facing the Giants, and by the end I had joyful tears in my eyes,

I have seen this movie several times, but by allowing myself to really take in what it meant for both Grant, his wife, and the school body that he was a part of come from years of defeat (as a whole as well as personally) to the times of triumph and victory, I was blessed with a visual of God’s faithfulness to His children.

What stuck out to me the most was the scene where a man came to the coach and read Revelation 3:8 to him: “I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me.” He then proceeded to tell Grant that God would come through for those who prepared for God’s provision. In other words, it is one thing to ask God for the needed finances, food, or any kind of provision, and an altogether another thing to live as if one believes God will come through. To not speak negatively about what we are trusting Him for, to wait with expectation and hope. I can’t tell you how many times God had God has given me Scriptures about hope and waiting on Him with patience. SOmetimes this requires us to be still and know that He is God, faithful and trustworthy. But I am learning that most of the time it means to live this out. It does not always feel good, it may make us look and sound dumb, but from what God’s Word tells us, and from what I am learning, it is well worth the humiliation and heartache to persevere with a joyful, thankful heart.

I have a few Scriptures I would like to share with you, but I do not want to overwhelm you with words that may not mean anything right now. So instead, I will leave you with the some practical advice that the Holy Spirit has been constantly reminding me of lately: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7 :)

He is beyond faithful!

Adventure

Adventure. I have been longing for an adventure for so long. Not just a random break in the day-to-day life, but a full-fledge ADVENTURE.

I was watching The Hobbit earlier today, and a theme of the movie that stuck out to me more than usual was the risk Bilbo was willing to take when he decided to follow the Dwarves and Gandalf on the journey to win the Dwarves’ home back. He knew that by going on this adventure he would never return the same… if indeed he ever did return.

 

I really do believe that’s the kind of life Christ calls us all on. Not that we were all meant to travel pony-back through various terrains and fight of disgusting creatures in order to win back the home of our new-found friends. I believe the life God calls His children to live is risk-taking, work-filled, sacrifice-contained life that benefits more than our own vacillating emotions. He calls us to put away our mother’s doilies, leave behind our home-in-a-hole, and join Him in sacrificing our comfort for the “life and life more abundantly” that we were meant to live here and now (John 10:10).

 

Here and now I am staring at this Word document, wondering who I am to talk about living an adventurous life. All I know of adventure is what I have currently watched in the movies The Hobbit and Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen as well as a book Take Four by Karen Kingsbury. I still desire exciting escapades, but I have to ask myself if I would be willing to embark on one if Jesus were to knock on my bedroom door and ask me to do so, letting me know that the journey will be life-threatening and I will not return the same. Would I say yes? I would like to think I would. I would like to think I would be willing to leave behind those things in which I take most comfort and be willing to rely on Him and those He has placed in my life to lean on.

 

 

Then again, He has asked me to go on an adventure with Him. Granted, my life does not look the way I would have mapped it out to, but what real adventure does? I know there are those who think that I should do things differently, but then I have to laugh as I recall the looks of disapproval Bilbo got when he went running out of the Shire after the Gandalf and the Dwarves. I never expected God to call me to spend my summers spending extended time with Him, hanging out with my brothers, and volunteering at church; it is not the life He seems to have called my friends and other family members to. Then again, not one of us has exactly the same outline for our lives, letter to letter. We may experience comparable circumstances, know the similar kinds of heartache, and find relatable joys, but each of our journeys will lead us to different callings and seasons. Frodo did not go on the exact same journey as Bilbo, and although both Peter and Paul were called to share the Gospel, Peter was appointed to the Jews while Paul was sent as a missionary to the Gentiles (Galatians 2:7-8). Every step may not look as we thought or wished it would, but with God by our side and our eyes ever seeking Him, life is bound to be quite the adventure.

Thor and Promises (Mostly the Latter)

So many random thoughts:

My friends are such good people compared to me; maybe that's why God blesses them in ways He has not blessed me.

I am not sure whether to be as honest with God as I am with my future husband or if I should tone it down a notch for him; I am not sure any human being should go through the tirades I go through with God. I am almost sure God should not have to go through them either, yet He does.

I really want to watch the movie Thor right now, but when I get in this frazzled state of mind, the only reason I want to watch that movie is because he looks so good and I am so single. On a side note, when I'm married what will I have to scream at God about? Will the world end? I think so. I will one day have to approximate date of when Jesus will return guys; I'll keep you updated.

Yes, lots of thoughts, all related in one way or another, but I will not discuss that. I'm using self-control and discretion. Miracles are still happening, people.

Okay, I am told we are really starting here:

Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. I will call a swift bird of prey from the east— a leader from a distant land to come and do my bidding. I have said what I would do, and I will do it.  Isaiah 46:10-11 NLT.

And so there is nothing to say in argument; I know ;)

"But what You promised has not come about yet; how much longer will I have to wait?

Everything I plan will come to pass.

"Why can't You bring it all about now?"

I do whatever I wish.

"Why do You place desires in my heart and promises in my mind only to hold off on their fulfillment?"

I have said what I would do, and I will do it.

They tell us to enjoy this part of life because when we get older we'll wish we had used it to do more good, to appreciate the resources and time we have now. Okay; I still want bigger and better. I still want a husband… most of the time. I still want California, a kitty, and a puppy. But I don't want to spend forever longing for something that I do not have, especially when, realistically, I have more than most. And, if we're determined to hold on to the mindset that things are not as good as they could be either, I'll repeat what I was told last night: For that girl who is stuck in childhood prostitution, for the boy who is being made to be a soldier and a murderer, and for the parents who really are not able to provide for their family, things could be better. And yet some of those in the worst situation find a way to praise God and trust Him through it all. I think if we all dig deep, we can do the same. He said His Grace is sufficient. Let's assume that it is true for the broken nail, the broken heart, and the broken arm.

A Positive Word

Believing is not seeing. I am not here to give the definitions for belief, faith, hope, and trust. All I know about all of these wonderful words is that they have a lot to do with not seeing. With being blind. With possibly looking stupid and being misunderstood or left to trust God despite how alone we may feel in the process. They require not being in control. They require us to keep going, maybe not even in the area that we are hoping, believing, having faith, or trusting God to move in. At times they require a lot of prayer and other times they require a lot of tears just for us to release whatever emotions we have been keeping in for too long. Everyday they require the Grace of God, lest we slip and fall into hopelessness, distrust, faithlessness, and disbelief. Moments of this are normal, but to fall into their darkened pit is not to be preferred.

I know that it is always worth it. It is always worth the risk of being hurt and it is always worth not feeling like things will turn out. We will not always understand; I think most of the time we won't. But God is a faithful Father, and He delights in giving us good and perfect gift.

So maybe I do not see or understand or even like how things are now; but there is always belief, faith, hope, and trust. And also, there's Love-- the kind that never disappoints, the kind that never fails.

I think I'm covered. I think we all are ;)

Perfect?

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 NKJV

I have wondered for years how this could be true. Take, for example, a dream job (notice my very obvious attempt to stay away from the subject of… well, you know). No matter how much one has longed for, prayed for, or worked for that dream job, and even when God blesses one with it, is that job really perfect? Are there not rude and selfish people one must encounter? Are there not aspects of said job that leave one drained and wondering if it worth it. Sure, in the end one may come to realize it is indeed worth it; still I would wonder, why the struggle if this good and perfect gift is from God.

Finally after wondering for so long, the Holy Spirit revealed to me, “The gift is perfect because it comes from God, not because it is in and of itself without flaw. God gives it its worth just like He gives you your worth.” Well, that made a lot more sense! I’m sorry fro the revisiting of this subject, but take, for example, a spouse. God can bless one’s love story and if you and your significant other follow His intended plan, both husband and wife can come to realize that their spouse is in fact a good and perfect gift from God. This is not, however, because the person you are marrying is without a flaw, without their nuances and pet peeves. However, it does mean that because they are someone God has ordained you to be with that, by closely following His lead and trusting His direction, you can have a love story that is worth the pain, disagreements and hardships you will be bound to face.

This goes for every “good and perfect gift from above”. God is very much in the way of giving good and perfect gifts because He Himself is good and perfect. Our job is to rejoice in Him and always remember that it is Him we are serving, Loving, and praising NOT the gift. He deserves our relentless gaze of appreciation. The gift should, without a doubt, be cherished and honored, but it does not deserve our undivided attention. Our Heavenly Father does.

To God be the glory for every good and perfect gift He gives, for Who He is in and of Himself—good and perfect! Hallelujah!

God is SO good! Reality has set in. Dreams I had wished to acquire sooner seem to be put off until later. Pain is a real part of life and must be experienced if I am to grow in Christ and compassion. People will not understand and people will not always be there. What we want takes effort on our part, and this is only the beginning. Where is the joy in all of this? Where is the hope? In the very first line, the very first word. GOD. He is so good! Why? In all of this, He has given me reassurance time and again that He is ever faithful. Sometimes that comes about by His arms circling around me, sometimes in the moments I sense He calling me to worship Him through an unforeseen (by me, not Him) hurt. No matter what, when I reach for Him and determine to love and trust my Faithful Friend, He is ever there. Goodness, even when I don’t, He reaches out to me in one way or another. But this is a relationship. He came 99.999% of the way. It is my job to come that measly .001%. Even when that fraction of a step costs me even more pain and wondering if it’s really worth it, the Holy Spirit reminds me of the suffering Jesus did for me—the cross, the being misunderstood, the beatings, the talking to people who just would not receive Him—and I have the strength to reach up to my heavenly Father and receive His Grace and Renewing Love. I tell you what, when I am weak, He is strong. I’ll take His strength over mine any day.

Repetition

My pillow pet gets the kisses I would give my future husband. For that matter, it gets his hugs to. This is not needed information but what does it matter. I have spent more nights crying because I was lonely than I can count, and I do feel pathetic (even though I know I am not the only one). I do not know why I can’t just get over it like everyone else seems to do so well. I do not know why it bothers me so much. But at least I can understand why guys chase after girls who have no interest in them; well, I guess I know. Maybe I know why some do. And I understand why girls walk by certain coffee places to flirt with guys whom they have intention getting involved with at all… that I know I understand. Not that I have done what. I actually haven’t. I’ve just thought of doing it.

How long until I find complete contentment? Then a guy will come and try to win my heart and I’ll take off my shoe and throw it at him because he’s come at a very inopportune time. Where were you a year, a month, three days ago when I actually wished you were here? Oh, busy having a life; I’m sorry for not being more understanding. I lied, I’m really not.

My pillow pet is so much easier to communicate with on my own terms. When I want a hug, I get one. When I want to cuddle, we do. When I want to ignore it because I’m bitter and I don’t feel like showing it the affection I am not shown, I let it sit on my bed unnoticed and alone. I bet it understand why I’m single a little better than I do.

This is an encouraging post. I know there are worse things than being single but I refuse to allow myself to forget what it’s like and therefore lose all empathy for the teenagers and young adults I will encounter in years to come. So for the future me I declare to you these truths: Being lonely or single or whatever you want to call it hurts. And no, it is not the same pain as one feels when they lose a family member or when they are laid off or when they are beaten, but it is pain. Last time I checked, pain hurt. A lot. And when it persists on coming back again and again, it hurts all the more and tempts one to become bitter and flirt with coffee shop guys.

I do not understand why I or anyone else has to go through this. Does God feel lonely? That’s hard for me to imagine. Does He feel neglected and abandoned? Probably; just looking at the way I treat Him on the day-to-day, I can see how He could feel that way. For that matter, we all feel that way. And empathy is a powerful thing. In the Bible is says to pray for those who are persecuted as if we were being persecuted. I am sure that in the middle of a beating, torture session, or simply lying in jail for months upon months, one is likely to feel lonely, abandoned, or neglected. So maybe being single and feeling this way is a great opportunity to pray for those who are being persecuted as well as for others who are single. Maybe it is a great opportunity to look outside of ourselves and up to a God who is Faithful and real and here no matter how we feel. Maybe it’s a great opportunity to get over ourselves because, the last time I checked, obsessing over how lonely I feel never made me feel better, just worse. More pathetic. More alone. More… blah.

On that note, being married does not solve everything; married people feel lonely to. I tend to ignore that small factor since they’re allowed to have sex whenever they and so that must solve all the world’s deepest problems. But you know, I’m starting to think that may not be so. So in the midst of our bitter jealousy or blinded loneliness, we can pray for those in our lives who are married too. Yes, they have less time for us single folk and no they cannot empathize with us in the same way. But they are human; and so they feel loneliness. That does not sound nearly as nice as it could, but bear with me, k?

So, get over yourself, pray for others, and worship Jesus based on who He is, not on how you feel. And know as you are doing all of this that you are not alone; I’m doing this with you.

He woke me up at 6:41 this morning...

Walking in faith is not the same as simply walking on the ground. If you feel like "stepping out in faith" is synonymous to stepping out onto thin air, you're wrong. God is our solid rock; unlike our ground here on earth, we do not always feel Him. Also unlike our ground here on earth, He is a lot more faithful and stable.

"Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
²³ They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”
-Lamentations 3:22-24

Reminder...

God keeps reminding me that me needing His mercy and Grace does not mean I will "mess up big time" in the future; it means I will always need Him and He will always be there.

Faith...

An awesome aspect of walking out our faith in God is that we move from the mindset and heart-set of, "Okay, this feel right" to "I don't give a flying fig tree how this feels, I know what my Daddy said and I'm moving forward with Him, trusting that He is as faithful today as He has been every day of His existence."

"He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. Romans 4:20-21 NKJV

Faithful Lover

Something I LOVE about my Heavenly Father is that I can be longing for a human romance, go to Him and worship Him to let Him know that I love Him, and He ALWAYS meets me where I am. I may not always feel it as strongly as at other times,  but He ALWAYS meets me. I don’t have to cry on my pillow and feel alone, I don’t have to search for a substitute while I wait for whoever God has for me, and I do not have to find another imperfect and temporary source of fulfillment. I just run to the arms of my Father and tell Him, “Even though I don’t have that human romance right now, I recognize that I have You, and You are enough. I love You, Daddy!”

God is beautiful, amazing, fulfilling, and ENOUGH. He is love; pursue Him!

C0ntentment and Stability

Today I woke up to my Father’s arms around me, and it was beautiful because it’s a feeling I have longed for for forever. Even so, in the midst of feeling loved, I have this tendency to wander away from the Source of my strength.

God’s love is constant; that’s something I cannot wrap my mind around because I don’t know anyone or anything else that is constant. In my generation, everything changes quickly. From music styles to iPhones to someone’s love interest to my view of God—there seems to be no keeping up.

Am I the only one who feels the need, after an extended period of time of being at peace and sensing God’s Love, to find something different to fill the hole in my heart—that God-shaped hole. I want something new, something tangible, something that feels different; I stop pursuing, stop seeking, because I don’ feel like I need Him anymore. But then something bad, scary, or life-changing happens… and I need my Daddy again. Really?

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” Deuteronomy 6:4

In one of the books from my Bible classes, I learned that this verse, which is repeated throughout Deuteronomy, speaks on God’s consistent character ¹. He is never-changing, He is constant. There is no “God of the Old Testament” and “God of the New Testament”. There is One God, YHWH, and every time I type, read, or really thinking about that, my world comes to a stop and it’s as if everything in me recognizes this statement they haven’t heard for a long time.

God, You have been so good. Father, I don’t know why it is that You have the desire to reach out to me the way You do, but I could never be thankful enough. Daddy, don’t let me walk away from Your arms. Incline my heart to Yours so that “all my delight is in You Lord”². I am not saying that people, or even things, are bad. However, when we start obsessing over who we need to be surrounded by right now, how it doesn't feel the same when I don’t have A, B, and C with me—that’s when the problem arises. If what Christ offered us when He died on the cross was a relationship, why do we neglect what we have with our Savior when we need Him the most?

All in all, I know better than to run away from Him, no matter how hyper, discontent, or whatever I am in the moment. Family and friends—golly, even material things—are a blessing, and I will cherish the people and be thankful for the objects while they are in my life. However, I know who my Constant is, and I will spend my life pursuing Him and giving Him my love :D

Footnote:

 ¹ Arnold, B.T. & Beyer, B. E. (2008). Encountering the Old Testament: A Christian survey. p.146. Grand Rapids:MI. BakerAcademic.

² Hillsong, “None But Jesus”, http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hillsongunited/nonebutjesus.html