Grace and Sin

Last night when I was wanting to sleep, I laid in bed wide awake. I had just finished praying and writing, and I had hoped I was done being “spiritual”. Ha. At some point a random scene played through my head: This guy walked up to me and told me that he had slept with a girl, had “seen her” as he said. I was not sure how to respond, and the scene quickly ended. I gave the scenario little thought and quickly tried to resume my sleep. Not long after the scene played out again, this time with a friend of mine as the guy. This was even harder to respond; he and I aren't close, but I still care enough for him to have been concerned. This morning as I was writing, the scene played out again, and I knew I had to write about it.

My question to this scenario is, what is the right response? James 1:14-15 says “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” The point of that is not to make us feel bad or uncomfortable, but to point to the fact that sin comes with its own punishments. I am not saying that as parents or authority figures we are not to teach those under us that wrong is wrong. No; but I am saying that there is a difference between teaching a lesson and reacting in a way that is neither beneficial neither for the wrongdoer nor for us. It would be easy for me to blast either guy in the mini stories, telling them that they have officially screwed himself and his future wife, not to mention that girl, over. It would be easy to stare and say nothing, defaulting to someone else to deal with them and their mess. It would even be easier to make light of the situation-- not easy, but easier than responding correctly.

Something God has been telling me for the past few months is that Grace changes people a lot better than condemnation does. Grace is not easy to give, but it is necessary. And you know what, it does not make me feel good to say that, because what if that guy were a family member of any gender-- a sibling, my future husband, my child? Would I want to give grace in that moment? Would it feel good to tell them that I do not condemn them and, yes, although there are consequences that come with every decision they make, I will not damn them. I will love them.

I do not know what it feels like to have to tell someone that I slept with a guy; even so, that does not negate the fact that I have my messes. I have my crap, my faults, my sins, and I know how God has handled them. He has reached out to me time and again with His Love and Grace. He has walked me through one healing process after another-- and yes, they were excruciating. Purity comes with a price, one way or another. Both are heavy, but one comes with a lot less of a burden and scarring than the other one. This is why abstinence is (should be) preached and taught. Sin of any kind affects more than just the sinner. However, this is not an excuse to make anyone feel like crap because they allowed their desire to birth sin which results in death. Because when we sinned, we had ours paid for, as did they. We were given Grace, if not by a human being than for sure by God the Father, who sent His Only Son to cover our butts… and the rest of us. I am not saying we are to welcome with open arms the wrong act, the hurtful words, whatever. I am saying we love and forgive and give Grace to the human being created in the image of God. “All have sinned and fallen short…” It’s not supposed to feel good, on either end. But it is supposed to heal and produce fruit but the Grace of a righteous and holy and gracious God.

Chosen Weakness, Trust, and God's Timing

Jesus: “Trust my timing. It is perfect. I will work everything out, dear.”

Me: “Maybe, instead of waiting, I could just…”

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (Italics added)

For the longest time I read this verse and thought of "weaknesses" as being those imperfections I could not fix about myself. There are places in each of our hearts that only God's Grace and Love can change, heal, renew, and revive. There are characteristics about us that may not be ideal, but until God puts His hands on them, we must entrust them in His hands.

However, I have lately found God speaking to me about weaknesses beyond those which I need Him to fix. I see things in my life, or "weaknesses", that I can easily take care of without anyone’s help. Doesn't God help those who help themselves? What does the Word say about those things?

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (Italics added)

I tell Jesus, "I can handle this; I know how to fix this. If I just say this, do that, and make this happen, the situation will be better. Why wait on Your timing?" Or, "Why wait for You to use someone else, another human being to take care of something that I am perfectly capable of handling on my own??"

Seriously, there are situations I could easily get myself out of, fix, or make even better, but more often than not I sense the Holy Spirit whispering, "Not now, Daughter. Let that go. Let Me handle that."

Why does God want us to entrust every area of our lives into His hands (which can sometimes entail entrusting others with such areas)? Aren't we supposed to grow up, mature, and learn to handle life on our own? Why does the most simple thing, dream, or desire seem to entail the indepth details?

These are all questions to which I do not have answers. This is when faith steps in. I have come to learn that often faith requires more work, more energy, more effort than my quick "fixes" would call for-- at least initially. Honestly, I know (and have come to realize through a recent pride-shattering event) that the after effects of my… ahem, “helping” end up taking more time and effort to clean up than if I would have left the situation alone and in God’s capable and trustworthy hands.

Something else God has been speaking to me lately:

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

Isaiah 55:10-11

God's Word is faithful, and when He promises us something, it will come about. Does this mean it will happen when and how we want it to. Probably not. Does that mean it will happen just as He planned, for our good? Yes!

And in those moments when we may be tempted to rush things along or "help out" God, we can remember that our weaknesses-- whether the kind that we were born with or the kind that manifest themselves in our obedience and submission to God-- allow God to show Himself strong and faithful, for our good and to His glory.

"Through the intimacy of our relationship, you are being transformed from the inside out. As you keep your focus on Me, I form you into the one I desire you to be. Your part is to yield to My creative work in you, neither resisting it nor trying to speed it up. Enjoy the tempo of a God-breathed life by letting Me set the pace. Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step."

- Jesus Calling, January 25

Remember Grace

Redeemable Poop

There are parts of my story that I look at and I ask God, "Are You serious? People are going to think I am crazy." Many lessons I have learned were born out of situations that I wish and have prayed that I could forget about. They are embarrassing, they are abnormal, and they are painful to recall. But you know how I know that I am meant to share them? You know what keeps me obeying (after the arguing, crying, and emotionally-drained surrender)? The memory of peace that I felt those times I did not wrestle with God. I recall when I felt most at peace and when I felt most unsettled, and the peace was always in the, "Okay, I trust You" and not in the "People are going to think I'm certifiable.”

I had a wonderful conversation today with a friend about purpose. We were both struggling with being bold when it came to putting ourselves out there and showing others God's love via whatever avenue He was calling us to work in. I found it weird that I could connect with her on this seeing as just last week I felt like I was doing great in this area. But you know what God kept whispering to me? "I am using your weakness to help her." Oh, what a scary thing, allowing God to take our crap, our stinky, old, painful flaws and use them to draw someone nearer to Him or to encourage them in some way. Why is this so embarrassing? Because all of us walk around desiring to hide our weaknesses. From our toddler years, we are trained to flush crap down the toilet, not take it out of the potty and yell with boldness and joy, "Look, Mommy!" I know that's a crazy and nasty visual, but seriously! No one wants to see (or smell) that! But when it comes to our nontangible mess, faults, and shortcomings, God wants us to take them out and show Him, boldly stating, "Here, Daddy! Here is an area, a place where I struggle, fail, do not measure up. Take this and, as You are shape me to be more like You, use this to bring You glory." What's crazy is, unlike our earthly parents, God can actually do that. He can take the disgusting and turn it something beautiful.

I believe in an earlier blog I talked about how dead dreams are like cow manure. They stink and are not fun to interact with, but God can use them to grow something beautiful and useful. Well, our weaknesses are just like cow manure as well; Jesus is the master Farmer, and He can take our nasty-smelling “poop” and use it to fertilize the ground from which the harvest of hearts is grown. We should not cling to and ignore the areas in which we are not the strongest, but neither should we hide away in shame or see them as unredeemable.

I want to challenge you to open up an area of your life to God that you would just as soon not; if you do not know what this area might be, ask Him! I am challenging this partially because I know God has directed me to and partially because He has shown me what area I need to allow Him to use. I thought that if we do take on this challenge, this experiment that will initially feel awkward and questionable, and allow Him to do something amazing with it, well then, we’re both doing this bold act of obedience together :D

Grace again...and again... and again...

By the time I leave this earth, I know I will have written well over 1,000 posts on Grace. Seriously.

Dictionary.com defines of Grace is as follows:

1.

elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.

2.

a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment

3.

favor or goodwill

4.

a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior

5.

mercy; clemency; pardon

When  think of Dictionary.com I think of Urban Dictionary. Here are few of their definitions (most of them had to do with a girl names Grace…):

1.         Grace

A admired feminine forename.

1) The swan glided over the lake gracefully.

2) Me: 'Grace is the cutest girl ever, She makes my heart beat faster, she's so beautyful. If you ever go out with her, you are one lucky guy...'

2.         Grace

Beauty, sunrises, singing birds, blossoming flowers. All those things that remind us why life is worth living.

Heaven on earth. A star to light your life.

3.         Grace

A girl who is the best of the best. Very artsy with an extreme amount of elegance, thus her name. This entails beautiful face, voice, mind, body, soul, thoughts, and aptitude in the arts. This girl is usually the best in everything. Thought to be a rare jewel, she is one to be held on to. One should not be surprised if this is difficult at least, for Grace is captivating to all around her.

I have no idea why I wanted to look up the term “Grace” on Urbandictionary.com, but you know what I found: nothing inappropriate! But more than that, all the definitions were positive descriptions of the word (or, in most cases, the girl).

Personally, I have not always seen Grace as something positive. For most of my life it was actually a mystery. “My Grace is sufficient for you,” Jesus tells Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9. But what does that mean, I wondered. God’s Grace is enough? Is it enough to block the pain from experiences that hurt more than I like to admit? Is it enough to give me what I need to go on and fulfill the commitments that no longer seem worth it? Is it enough to help me not drag everyone around me down even though I don’t have the strength to keep going? What is this mysterious Grace, and can it be compacted into an all-in-one pill so that I can take one dose and be set for life?

Well, I do not have a straight-from-God’s-mouth definition for you. However, I do know what I have come to understand it to be. As of this very moment, I have understood Grace to be God Himself coming alongside me and saying, “Daughter, I see you cannot do this on your own; allow me to walk with you through this, and when the burden gets heavy, talk to me about and allow me be with you each step”.

This, in my opinion, is a narrow definition of Grace because it is only being defined in light of our burdens. What about when we sin? I believe what is extended to us then is called mercy. What about when others wrong us or when they are seeking out our help? I believe then we are called to extend mercy and Grace to others. That does not meant that we should allow cruel people to cling to us and drag us down; but I do believe it means we do not harbor unforgiveness or bitterness in our hearts. And when it comes to those we are journeying through life with, I have come to see Grace as that which is extended in love and without keeping count of how many times it has been given.

So, that’s what I have to say about Grace for now.

Grace is beautiful and deep and an extension of Love itself :)

Reminder...

God keeps reminding me that me needing His mercy and Grace does not mean I will "mess up big time" in the future; it means I will always need Him and He will always be there.

Hum0r

For months now God has been teaching me the art of resting in Him, constantly lecturing me on how I’m always wanting to “do” for Him and how, oftentimes, He wants me to simply be with Him. I’d habitually say things like, “But what is resting in You doing?”, “How exactly am I accomplishing anything?”, or the most repeated, “God, I don’t know how to just be with You. Shouldn't I be doing things for other people and showing them Your Love?” I had a horrible case of the “Grace-by-Works” syndrome and, by His Grace alone, I’m getting better…

This morning as I was praying, I added as a side not, “Sometimes, I just want to sleep all day with You.”

God’s response: “‘What exactly does that accomplish?’”