Redeemable Poop

There are parts of my story that I look at and I ask God, "Are You serious? People are going to think I am crazy." Many lessons I have learned were born out of situations that I wish and have prayed that I could forget about. They are embarrassing, they are abnormal, and they are painful to recall. But you know how I know that I am meant to share them? You know what keeps me obeying (after the arguing, crying, and emotionally-drained surrender)? The memory of peace that I felt those times I did not wrestle with God. I recall when I felt most at peace and when I felt most unsettled, and the peace was always in the, "Okay, I trust You" and not in the "People are going to think I'm certifiable.”

I had a wonderful conversation today with a friend about purpose. We were both struggling with being bold when it came to putting ourselves out there and showing others God's love via whatever avenue He was calling us to work in. I found it weird that I could connect with her on this seeing as just last week I felt like I was doing great in this area. But you know what God kept whispering to me? "I am using your weakness to help her." Oh, what a scary thing, allowing God to take our crap, our stinky, old, painful flaws and use them to draw someone nearer to Him or to encourage them in some way. Why is this so embarrassing? Because all of us walk around desiring to hide our weaknesses. From our toddler years, we are trained to flush crap down the toilet, not take it out of the potty and yell with boldness and joy, "Look, Mommy!" I know that's a crazy and nasty visual, but seriously! No one wants to see (or smell) that! But when it comes to our nontangible mess, faults, and shortcomings, God wants us to take them out and show Him, boldly stating, "Here, Daddy! Here is an area, a place where I struggle, fail, do not measure up. Take this and, as You are shape me to be more like You, use this to bring You glory." What's crazy is, unlike our earthly parents, God can actually do that. He can take the disgusting and turn it something beautiful.

I believe in an earlier blog I talked about how dead dreams are like cow manure. They stink and are not fun to interact with, but God can use them to grow something beautiful and useful. Well, our weaknesses are just like cow manure as well; Jesus is the master Farmer, and He can take our nasty-smelling “poop” and use it to fertilize the ground from which the harvest of hearts is grown. We should not cling to and ignore the areas in which we are not the strongest, but neither should we hide away in shame or see them as unredeemable.

I want to challenge you to open up an area of your life to God that you would just as soon not; if you do not know what this area might be, ask Him! I am challenging this partially because I know God has directed me to and partially because He has shown me what area I need to allow Him to use. I thought that if we do take on this challenge, this experiment that will initially feel awkward and questionable, and allow Him to do something amazing with it, well then, we’re both doing this bold act of obedience together :D