Something I
thought more than usual about this week
is wrestling with God in prayer. I LOVE that portion of Scripture where Jacob
wrestles the Angel. When the Angel tells him to let to because the sun is
coming up (at which point I'm thinking, "Why are you concerned about the
sun?" then I briefly think of Twilight, laugh, and turn my thoughts back
to the story), Jacob stubbornly replies, "I will not let you go unless you
bless me." (Genesis 32:26 NLT). I love that, mainly because that is something
I would say; not that I could see myself wrestling an angel or God, but
verbally I have had more than a few "wrestling" matches with Him,
letting Him know that I expect more from Him than what I currently see.
Initially, these were demands made from a hurting and selfish heart.
Now-a-days, they are more so declarations of faith. "I know You have more
in mind for me, God. So despite how I feel and how much I do not like this
view, I am asking and trusting You for better." I no longer have the
desire to go head to head with God with my normal complaints. Every day I come
to better understand that He is fully aware what's going on in my life;
therefore, there's no need to throw a hissy fit.
Another a part of
this story that I love is the verse above the aforementioned one.
"When the
man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it
out of its socket." (Genesis 32:25 NLT)
Even after Jacob
was wounded, he didn't let go. He was going to fight until he got what God had
promised him. Again, I'm not suggesting we turn into toddlers whenever things
don't go our way, but I also don't believe when things get hard God wants us
take matters sitting down. He wants us to bring our hearts to Him and lift up
our concerns with thanksgiving and prayer (Philippians 4:6).
I love how honest
I can be with God. I'm learning how to respect Him more and not just say
whatever I feel without recalling With Whom I am speaking; I am learning
honesty with Wisdom. I am also learning how to thank Him for His goodness when
I do not feel particularly good. No matter what, He's still God; His Word
stands strong underneath all kinds of pressure, awkward, and uncomfortable
situations and people.
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